You can't pay enough for this cool shit to have happened. So here I am riding Christine my fixed gear road bike. Doing a trackstand at a stop sign when the car driver signals for me to go. So I roll it backwards a bit then go to launch as I start to roll forward again when I hear this horrible crunching noise and all of a sudden I couldn't pedal the bike. At first wonder if I had thrown a chain, but I didn't go flying off the bike so I must be something else.

Then I looked down...

All broken... so sad

There it is, the chain ring is all folded over. Wow I have collapsed another chain ring! But wait a closer look reveals that I not only broke the chain ring, but that I also folded over the crank spiders.

Oh yeah baby... who is da man? I am!

So what is the first thing I do? Go look to brag to someone. Hmmm... Ian is working down at La Bicecletta, just a couple block walk from where it happed. So I packed up the bike went over to show him the carnage. When I get there the first thing out of the mouths of the road snobs there is that I must have either a) hit a curb or b) hit a car. Nope it was the shear horse power of yours truly, the wonder weasel, you nonbelieving heathens... have you seen me? Have you seen my enormous manly legs. Well they are really not that big, but don't let that fool you they can crush puney CNC'd aluminum cranks.

Then this long haired hippy wannabe fuck came over to loot at it. Now I have nothing against hippies, just this poser with his diamond stud earing and his crappy yuppie midlife crisis long hair coming out from Kelowona to race here but all he is doing is talking up a bunch of crap to the overworked staff. Well the cock comes over gives it a look and then proceeds to say "Ya, just look at it... those are light machined cranks, no wonder they collapsed... it wouldn't be that hard to do at all"

WTF. Give props were props due man. Instead you come over here and pissing in my corn flakes. When I bought the cranks I well knew the story of how those Kooka cranks are synonymous cracking and failures. Seceretly, it is one of the reasons I bought them, I hoped they would blow up on me. But usually those cranks cracked where they fit onto the taper axel of the bottom bracket, not the entire spider, I have never heard of the chain ring and chain ring spider clapsing. Plus the failures were usually after a decent period of time like a few months or a year, not after less than one month of riding. So yuppie hippie wanna be go back to your cocaine and high school girls in Kelowna and get the hell out of Vancouver. Hey wait a second, there is this nice house Kelowna you might want to buy...

Anyways rant aside as always I have learned an important lesson. Fixies rule and flesh beats metal hands down my friends, respect the flesh...