Last night I was almost run down on the Francis/Union bike path coming home around 8PM. I had on very bright bike lights (25 W trail lights), and I had the right of way entering an intersection. Two vehicles were both stopped at the 2-way stop sign. There was another car in front of me. The first car got through just fine, but as I was entering the intersection the large pickup truck on the left proceeded to enter the intersection, then abruptly stop part way through. I then cautiously entered the intersection, and this is when the driver surged forward right at me. I freaked, and dashed to the right,narrowly missed the bumper. I couldn't believe it at the time as this large grill and bumper was coming right at my chest. I was so freaked out first things out of my mouth were, “Oh Fuck, Oh Fuck…" Followed by a soundly, "Fuck you, you fucking fuck!”

I yelled it in a voice that I have never heard come out of myself before. I think this must of done something, because when I immediately stopped and turned around, the guy gave me a weird look then peeled out to get away. I was livid, so a chase immediately ensued. I wanted to get his license plate number to report to the police and give him a piece of my mind.

Unfortunately, I was near the bottom of the large hill that is the start of the Francis/Union bike path and I was pissed. But this didn’t matter as I hammered up the hill. He had a couple blocks on me but I was narrowing the gap, since the traffic on Hastings was preventing him from turning left.

When I hit Hastings I was frickin’ flying. I have never been so mad in my life, and the traffic was letting my make time on him, even though he was madly switching lanes trying to stay ahead. Somehow, I think he knew I was chasing him and was taking appropriate measures. I wasn’t just sure what I was going to do when I caught him, but it sure as hell was not going to be a love-in.

I have acceptance for those who accidentally cut you off. Who didn’t realize what they had done. I usually approach them in a nice voice and explain that I know they didn’t intend to do what they did, but the maneuver the just pulled to gain 2-5 seconds, something typical like cutting in front of me for a stop light or a right turn, nearly cost me my life. When you state it so bluntly and with out yelling people often respond well. I have no problems when people take ownership of their mistakes.

But this guy was a fuckin’ jerk and my tolerance was zero.

Anyway, I was screaming down Hastings passing cars like they were standing still (I was quite surprised I had that in me at this time of year). I was praying for one more red light, and sure enough I got it. He started to slow. But then he made a mad dash across 2 lanes and over a cement island so that he could get onto the entrance to HWY 1. This is when the chase stopped and I had to lick my wounds.

EMP = Electro-Magnetic Pulse

For me, the last 10+ years of solid bike commuting has given me more than one of these stories. I am sick of those who nearly obliterate you, then realize they can make a hasty getaway by putting the pedal to the medal.

This is where I want to even things up. I want an EMP device that is cycling specific. A little disk of sorts, magnetic, that you can throw and have stick to the target vehicle. You then flick the remote switch and the device emits an elector-magnetic device that overloads the cars circuits. Since most modern vehicles have electronic ignition control, this will basically render the vehicle useless, bringing them to an abrupt halt.

It was the same device that killed the machines in the Matrix.

I do not know if one exists yet. Maybe, I will have to design my own. All I know is that they will sell like hotcakes.