24 hours of Moab

Lets just say I kinda got sodomized at the 24hrs of Moab (Photos). We (duo pro/expert) finished fuckin mid pack in what had to be one of my worst performances yet. What happens when you take a poor Canadian sap down to the desert? He gets fuckin' heat stroke, that's what. After my first lap all liquids went through me like as faster than a fat kid can eat a cheese burger. Shit me, or rather the water I was shitting between laps. Miso soup got me a bit back on track (thanks to Deb and the the cool support crew), but wow does dehydration thing knock you down a couple pegs. Not to mention the resulting leg cramps. There were so bad I couldn't walk, all I could do was ride. Actually I couldn't even coast because my legs would instantly cramp in any position including completely extended. What about stretching inbetween laps? No go, as some other muscle would instantly cramp when I did that, but on a bright note the cramping was symmetrical.

Talk about being in a bad way. I have never in my life felt so fucked up, even when doing Ironman. Hell, not only did I want to quit the race, but I wanted to quit racing entirely... wow that's kinda cool, I have never had that experience before. I got back on track a bit around 3 am, during my triple up in the night. Ana was kickin' ass earlier on but fucked her calve muscle on one of the laps. I really really didn't want to ride more but hey what can you do. The whole thing ended up being about survival for me, it felt like a frickin' miracle that I could even turn the cranks.

But the real irony about the situation was the whole thing was totally my fault too. Feeling indestructible we went out partying at the Chili pepper bike shop prior to the race. They had REAL beer, none of that crappy 3.2% water you usually get in Utah and about 5 pints later we decided to call it a night without any real dinner. I think that is where I went wrong, should have stuck to the Utah beer like previous years. Oh well, you live and learn, and this year I learned I am about as tough as ornery as a little school girl. Damn!

And as for the mystery girl I did the race with. Ana was cool and had a kick ass dog named chief, who slept alot, but she was rather intense to race with to say the least. This year you had to swipe these cards as you logged in. You hand the baton, swip out the lap, next person swips in and gets the baton. Ana nearly strangled me 3 times by grabbing the lanyard my card was on and pulling it over to the place you swipe in, while I was still on my bike trying to hand over the baton. Wow, chill a little. Then when she royally fucked her calve muscle I ended up pulling 3 laps in a row. Fair enough, these laps sucked because I was slow trying to recover from my earlier bought of diarrhea and cramps (not to mention one of these fuckers was an insane 2.5hr hell night lap where I had every technical difficulty known to man). After that shit she had said should would try and double up afterwards, so I took a nap. Then she comes into camp yelling at me after one lap. Why wasn't I there to relieve her. Fuck I thought she was doin' two laps. Oh well so I start to get changed, but I am not quick enough so she goes off on the second one. Wow, ok. Good thing too, by then I was in no condition to go out again. I could have done it if the win was on the line, but it sure as shit wasn't. And honestly, I had 7 more days of fun riding after this race. No reason to kill myself to move up from 13th to 12th. Ah, but then again maybe I am just a lazy Canadian.

So am I whining about this? Your damn right. So would I do it all again? Your damn right, where do I sign?

Rest of Moab

The organization of this trip has been haphazard to say the least. Many more people were supposed to come down but in the end I just met Ian and Allison down there. Johnny C just happened to also show up in Moab at the same time. What else can you expect from the real live saint? Anyways a picture speaks a thousand words so lets skip the hub bub and jump right into the good stuff:

Photo Album

The rest is a summary of events that stuck out in my mind.

The Saint strikes again:

Ian basically found out a week before he left that Johnny C was also going to be in Moab to ride at the same time. Good thing too because everyone needs a saint some days. After one of our earlier rides Alison became quite dehydrated. While me and Ian road back to the Porcupine rim trailhead to get the car, Alison waited in town and otherwise started to feel worse for wear. And who should show up out of the blue at the right time, John the Saint. As always he came to the rescue, supplying a sleeping bag and special hydration drinks to Ali when she needed it the most. Then later on when we all went to dinner, while everyone was enjoying the show, Johnny C foots to bill for everything (food and beers). We had our defenses down and that is when he struck. Damn John, if you reading this mark my words I will get you back :-)

Test of metal:

Me and Ian decided to punish ourselves on every climb the whole vacation, testing each other for weakness. After a full week of riding we conceded that we couldn't find that weakness. In fact we realized we would probably have kill ourselves in order to discover it. As a result our much anticipated race up the Moab rim trail (900ft in a mile) at the end of the trip turned into a good old lung buster cruise. We of course rode it in one go, but we skipped out on any semblance of a race as we realized the amount of pain required to destroy the other did not justify the prize. Its always nice to ride with people in the same mind set.

Or is it all about the decent:

I don't know how many times we rode Porcupine rim but I have to say I never get tired of it. It is an effortless flow of speed and vibration. I loved it. Ride the La Sal mountains first and then drop into it? Even better.

Bike Sluts

When not riding we spent our days being bike shop whores, visiting each bike shop for what they have to offer, buying little in return. We went to the chili pepper for coffee and spider cycles for the $1.50 showers. If I had more money I would definitely buy more, but what can you say other than "sorry guys." Next year when I find that sugar momma, I will definitely spring more cash in your directions.

We were invincible?

By night we would finish off a couple packs of beer (me and Ian) each night, pretending we were all that since we weren't the least bit drunk. Of course this may have had something to do with the fact the beer is only 3.2%, but hey if you concentrate hard enough you can almost convince yourself otherwise. Anyways we basically hydrated off in the evenings off the stuff. We only had dedicated drinks of water when we were actually riding. Of all the Utah beer, my favourite had to be Polygamy Porter, not because of its taste but because of its box and logo. "Why have just one?" I ask myself that question everyday. Look for a review in the near future.

Towers of Power

By the end of the our stay we knew we needed to leave a lasting impression so we learned how to build balancing rocks and tried to make the most rude, obnoxious and other wise insulting display to gravity we could. These were some of the more interesting results: one, two.

Then as quickly as this whole vacation began it ended.