To use one gear to dominate the world... Muhahaha

Wease's blog

Bike mechanic Nazi

Man, I am sick of petty people. All I wanted was a chain and a quick bit of advice about getting rid of a off-again, on-again clunking noise. I told them I took the cranks off (tapered bottom bracket), re-lubed, and put the cranks back on. That I had also tightened the chain ring, but that the noise still persists. I didn't rotate the crank on the bottom bracket, which was a good suggestion, but then I got all sorts of attitude and was told I should leave the bike with them because they can track it down where I really can't. Arggg.... jerks!

OK now I try and get a chain... "Can I check my chain stretch?" I ask.

No logo's here man!

I took a hankering to rip off all my bikes logos...

I am on a minimalist kick these days, that combined with the fact I have
been reading No Logo by Naomi Klein, has lead me to tear off all my singlespeed's logos.

Actually, I have been thinking about it for a while since I saw another redline owner's bike. However, I went the extra step to remove ALL stickers, including off the shocks.

Master Says Faster

DominatrixRace a single speed and the first thing you learn is there is nowhere to hide. When you start to weaken you can't drop a couple gears and spin. You can't walk either. This admits defeat; you didn't choose a single to admit defeat. You're exhausted. Your vision starting to go, and you have started hallucinating? But that beautiful dominatrix gives you a wink, gently grabs hold of your balls [or other genitalia depending on your sex] and whispers faster. There is only one solution: Balls to the wall, keep pushing that gear.

So you want to join the club...

[Single speeding etiquette as I see it]

So you bought the gear and now you want to join “the club.” All I have to say is so the fuck what. Do you think I care? I don’t. What, you want me to coddle you and get you ridin your one gear pain machine? I ain’t doin that. I don’t give a shit, about your fucking bike nor does anyone else. Sound harsh? Well get over it, you’re an adult. No one is here to fuckin hold your hand and caress your balls. If people do they will get sick of you shortly, and it ain’t helping you any.

Go ride that one gear beast for you, no one else, just you. That is why you bought/built or are thinking about a single speed. If it isn’t what you are about then you are here for the wrong reasons.

Like A Fat Kid On A Smartie

Broken Chain Ring
How do you like them apples?

Just as fat kids like to eat I like to ride. I love cranking until I am about to puke, then go grab a beer and get a heapin’ plate of pasta to chow down on. I also like sex, if only I could ride, fuck, and drink beer all at the same time; I surely would die.

I love riding so much I go through numerous chain rings a season. If you are thinking I should change my chain more often, all I have to say is “fuck you!” Trust me I check for stretch all the time, but some how I eat up chain rings, I have even folded one before doing a standing start off a traffic light. I tried to ride for about 5 blocks before I conceded defeat and replaced it.

Iron Man

The Ironman - a sanctioned form of torture that consists of a 3.8-km swim, followed by a 180-km road bike ride, and then a 42-km run (marathon) to round things out. Why would anyone do such a race? I'm not sure, but I can remember a few years back when I decisively told myself that entering such a race was a sign of mental instability.

My downfall from a logical, less strenuous lifestyle began when I started cycling to SFU in 1997. Before I knew it, the lifestyle had hooked me and I started to get involved with mountain bike racing. The true point of no return was last year when I went to Ironman Canada in Penticton B.C. to cheer on some friends. I was impressed by the sportsmanship (the pros come out and cheer on the last competitors to finish), the wide array of ages (18 to 70), and the locals who cheered on every competitor as if they were the leaders. Before I knew what happened I was in the sign-up line for next year, not having made a complete decision until the cool $425 left my hand.

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