I don't know what is up with people these days. I was riding the fixie road bike out to Port Moody today to meet Ian so he could make my cry like a school girl on the hills there. Along the way in Vancouver, I ended up meeting and talking with Damien, a local Cat 1 pro who apparently reads this blog (see Damien I am writing again). He is quite an amenable fellow and we ended up riding to Port Moody together. Along the way I was telling him the story of this commuter warriors (jackrabbits) who felt it necessary to pass me then slow to a crawl, let me pass, then pass me then slow down, etc.
Funny enough right after the story as we were riding along the Barnet Highway when we ran we run into another one of these militant dip shits. We caught him from way back chugging along on an ugly orange bikes, in the drops, in too big of a gear (don't get me wrong, I am all for ugly orange bikes as I own one too). As soon as we pass him he was on our ass. Nothing to serious but you never know he could be a triathlete and crash his bike into you at any instant for no logical reason. But he wasn't too obnoxious yet, so whatever, right? Let sleeping dogs lay, eh? Wrong.
Well right after I thought that, he decided he needed to pass us. When he did we got a good laugh because of our earlier conversation, the fact he was chugging along at a super low cadence in what looked to be 53-12 and the fact right afterwards he almost crashed into a stopped bus.
What a pud! First, its winter, the use of the big ring is strickly prohibited until spring. Second you almost ran into a parked bus. What ? Did it sneak up on you? Its a fuckin' bus. They are about as obvious as the fact Brittany Spears was never a virgin all those years.
After that stellar move, turned left off the Barnet and onto Clark. We followed because that is the only safe road in Port Moody, but what neither of us expected was that he would immediately drift into the middle of the road and slow to a complete crawl! Both Damien and myself had to take some serious evasive maneuvers to avoid crashing into the dip shit.
As we passed (again at our same constant pace) he looked shocked and then ( I swear to all things wholly, such as beer and loose women) that he blurted out,
"Oh shit! I had no idea you were right behind me!" Followed by him getting out of the saddle to pass us again.
WTF!!! Absolutely nothing subtle or smooth about that let me tell you.
First he nearly causes an accident, then decides he "has to" pass us again so that he can sit a paltry 15 feet ahead, in the drops, slowly churning a gear that is WAY to big. All for what? So that he can decide to spontaneously stop for no reason again. Let me tell you a little secret buddy, just cause you select a harder gear does NOT not make you go faster. You gotta have some power to drive that bad boy.
By Moody street, Daiman went off to coach the Junior team and I went to meet Ian in Ioco/Belcarra (Incidentally, on his new, 'cough,' Norco bike, yes Norco, the same very same brand, Norco, Ian has be publicly denouncing for the better part of a decade! Ha! Guess things change when your wife works for them, eh Ian. Also incidentally he was riding the new bike, because he crashed and wrecked his winter rig into the the back of a Volkswagon while shoulder checking. A total, ID10T error. ) I continued at my same pace passed the dip shit (I was tempted to whip my water bottle at him, but I only had one) and never saw him or his ugly orange bike again.
WTF, what is it some people and their tiny little cocks? Either they haven't been getting any for a long time or they have one of those cheap shitty saddle that causes erectile disfunction. Either way they have some major lack in their life, that makes them feel they need to challenge anyone that looks remotely fast that passes them (Damian had is team gear on - I however look slow and dumb) when its 9 am in the frickin' morning, on a Sunday. Hell, we even gave him a friendly greeting when we first pass. If he has any kids, I feel sorry for them, he's probably the type that takes the fun out of any sport.
Comments
I've noticed this mindset myself, but rarely among bicyclists. (There's not a hell of a lot of commuters/racers on my daily ride; it's mostly hobos on rickety old Huffys.) I usually see it among cars, where a driver will gun it and pass me, only to have to swerve back into my lane due to oncoming traffic/stop sign/etc. I usually make a point of stopping right in front of them at the next red light, just to put a boot in. It's as if they see me prototypically: "Ah, a bicycle. Those only go about 5 miles an hour. I'll pass him." Either that, or I'm some sort of interloper on the road, and therefore a challenge to their feelings of untrammeled superiority.
Primate dynamics are interesting, for sure. Territoriality, agression displays, etc. Apes on two wheels, monkeys on four. I guess we should just be thankful there's relatively little poo-flinging.
Shit, that's a funny recall of the bizarre old fat man who was 'racing' us this sunny Sunday morn. He would sprint ahead in the drops, then proceed to stay about 10 meters in front of us for awhile, until we would inevitably pass him again. Weird.
Thanks for the update. I'd like to see more strange commuting tales.
Cheers,
d
Hey, Damien, thanks for the ride... I think we saw you and the Junior team riding around in Belcarra, near the thermal plant. And no worries I will give you some more storeys... just a second...
Yeah, Coda I see it in cars too all the time... I usually make a strong effort to pass the car back, just because I am an ass. For example, there was the vette (Corvette) that just had to pass me (the midlife crisis type) and he had to do his passing in a stupid way ON a bike route. I immediately caught him every chance he got. This in turn made him accelerate faster after each round-a-bout, so as a result I would go faster to catch him, then he would accelerate faster to get away. This pattern kept happening until the point where he was going too fast to slow for the speed humps we have on the bike routes.
Suddenly, there was a horrible noise as he mangled his exhaust. I was laughing my ass off at him. His wife looked horrified as I passed.
What is it with car drivers (and people in general) who absolutely cannot let a cyclist pass them?
I think it has to do with two things.
First, drivers on the road rarely (if ever) see objects on the road as individual objects, but rather as instances of prototypical classes. These start out with broad categorization (e.g., Car, Bicycle, Big Truck, Pedestrian, Debris, etc.) and narrow down to categories with which behavior can be predicted (Really Slow Old Lady, Crazy Muscle Car Kid, Long Distance Commuter Who Has Lost His or Her Fear of Death, Obviously Stoned Person, etc.). These categories become short-hand for actually examining each object on the road, and are necessary, I think. Boggling at one's environment like a newborn or appreciating the Buddha-nature of all things are hardly desirable activities for people steering two-ton chunks of steel and glass around at high speeds.
So when a driver looks at me, as a bicyclist, they do not see (as another bicyclist would) a fit young man on a deceptively sleek fixed gear bike with a nice, round spin. They see a Bicycle, and since there aren't many bicycles on the road in America, there aren't many subcategories; perhaps just Kid on a Bicycle, and Bicycle In My Way. The prototypical behavior of a bicycle is to roll around at about 5mph, since that's what most people remember doing the last time they were on a bike (circa age 10). A driver "sees" me as a Bicycle, and then (because I'm not a kid, despite the huge grin on my face), "sees" me as a Bicycle In Their Way. And because, as a prototypical Bicyle In Their Way, I'm only rolling around at 5mph (in their head), they try to pass me.
Which, as you know, makes for some serious comedy and the occasional life-threatening close call. Their driving skills and engine can't close the gap (considering they're only doing 10mph faster than me) and zany hi-jinx ensue.
The second (and more insiduous) reason why cars try to pass bicyclists has to do with the social hierarchy of the road. Bicycles don't "deserve" to be on the road, since they're not cars and precious few drivers have even the faintest echo of a clue regarding the rights and responsibilities of cyclists. So a bicyclist is seen as an interloper who, by their very presence, is mucking up the entire social system of the road. At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, it's the same shock to the superiority of the automobile that an African-American person in a White theater posed to the system of White superiority. Take a rigid social hierarchy, replicated by the socioeconomic stratification of the American class system, and get some clown on a bike to ride right through the middle of it without the slightest deference to their unchallenged power and privilege, and you'll usually get quite a violent reaction.
(At least, these are the thoughts I have on my daily commute, as tools in Geo Metros strain their tiny engines and nouveau-rich jackasses attempt to keep their Land-yachts between the lines, all trying to pass me before we get to the stop sign 200 ft. down the road.)
I am not sure about the whole categorization paradigm (prototypical classes) you slammed down... blam! Checking your blog, if figure you took it from aprogramming context? No?
Anyway, my limited cranium volume figures that you are suggesting people react more on an emotional level (preprgrammed/learned responses to prototypical classes) rather than logically thinking through of a situation before they react. Then I would agree fully.
There are so many examples out there. I figure the only reason more cyclists are not turned into road crayons is the fact we may scratch their paint or raise their insurance costs. I don't think for a moment its a concern over our personal safety.
For example when I commute at night I did a few "experiments" and learned a few things. If I use a small (highly visible) blinky light I find that cars nearly run me over coming head on. Here, although its visible the size is diminutive and as a results emotionally represents a small, non-threatenting object to a driver. They don't think "shit there is a poor schlub on a bike at night I better give him so room." Nope, instead they are probably thinking something on the lines of "no threat here, pedal to the metal baby, fuck the world I got a land-yacht!"
This response to me gets completely changed if I slap on some bad boy trail lights (60 Watts of pure halogen hell fire). I find they get the fuck out of my pedal spinning way, so much so I am often shocked.
In the end I guess this answers the age old question...
Size does matter.
Therefore, I propose we change their "prototypical classes" by riding in large packs carrying big sticks...
OK, as perhaps one of the longest distance commuters in the city of Raincouver, I spend likely more time on the road than any 5 others riders combined (deliberate hyperbole intended) therefore I am an expert on such things as beligerant driver mentality. So I deliver the following metaphor...
Whimsically on a warm spring day I viewed a fly freshly awake from its winter slumber. It was buzzing around the room looking for a cookie or something. Watching the fly I thought to myself, wow, that fly is an amazing specimen of life- it can fly, its so free! Then I killed it with a rolled up newspaper.
Look at most of us! We live on our bikes, so we are a fairly fit group, naturally. We get around crazy distances in times faster than most cars or transit. We dont pay 94.6 cents/L and apparently dont pay insurance (most of us are closet car owners however). We are smiling most of the time and look strong and healthy. Most of us.
Look at them!!! A burger in one hand, coffee in the other, phone to the ear. Mostly fat, stuck in traffic going nowhere. At 94.6 cents/L. Only commercials on the radio. Dozing from boredom in their leather and glass tombs that they pay just $699/mo! Just a fight with the ol lady to look forward to at home. Probably an affair they cant get out of. (OK thats enough) Most of them.
Its a matter of time before simple envy lowers the rolled newspaper in our general direction!I have been that car person on occasion and I have felt the envy of the cyclist cruising past freely. I'm not going to 'accidently' have a mishap where a cyclist gets hurt, but you can imagine that we are likely scapegoats to vent the frustration of the daily grind. Dunno for sure, just a guess...
Sorry for the mini-essay; I'm bored at work.
I'd be the first to admit I'm a geek, but my ideas about prototypes come more from linguistics than from programming. Lakoff and Johnson (Metaphors We Live By) have a decent discussion of prototypes and prototypical thinking. For example, the prototypical Bird is a small song-bird, not an ostrich. This has repercussions in the way we think about and therefore act toward birds. (If your prototypical bird was an ostrich, you'd have to be a bit daft to put out a bird feeder, right?)
Likewise, if your visual profile matches the driver's protypical Bicycle (i.e., over on the side of the road, small blinky red light) then you get squeezed into parked cars and such. If you have a visual profile which doesn't match any prototype (e.g., 100,000 lumens up front, swinging spiked mace, tires aflame, howling at the moon, etc.) then drivers are forced to actually *see* you, and they respond accordingly. In other words, hells yes to roving gangs of cyclists carrying improvised weapons.
Most drivers have an emotional reaction to prototypical Bicycles, you're right. That's where the socioeconomic factor comes in. We're second-class citizens, and if we don't act like it (cowering on the shoulder, rolling along at 5mph, etc.) then we're seen as uppity, up until the point where we pose a threat (back to the armed packs of cyclists idea), and then they have no idea how to handle us.
All of which makes me wish I could keep a list of addresses to visit during the next Critical Mass. "Hmm... off-white Escalade, license plate BRN2RCEU... okay boys, get the catapult..."
Ian... you are the fly I am the rolled up news paper... just watch yourself this summer ;-)
mini-essay aside, prototypes/ stereotypes/ archetypes/ prejudices / racisms is what ppl do, and too much of. I also agree I always getting the feel may ppl view us as Second-class citizen.
Out here (Vancouver Canada), a great example is how Sam Sulivan went back on council vote that GAVE the go ahead for the bike lanes on the burrard bridge. His justification "people knew what I was running on." Running on what? Crack? We are Second-class citizens in their minds.
Speaking of license plates I wanted to start a Website that did that... "if you see this guy... well do what you feel is appropriate..."