This is what I do to dumb ass car drivers
Since I am on the topic of millitant cyclists who cannot let anyone pass, I am reminded of all the idiotic car drivers who cannot let anyone pass. Now you may think I am a bit of an ass, but I love passing automotive commuters.
There is nothing like it in the world. They have all the technology in the world at their finger tip, but here is this "lowly" cyclist using only his own power to pass your driving dumb ass. Its sort of like like saying:
"Ha ha ha ha... sucker! Hey look what you can be doing on a bike if you weren't trapped in that metal monstrosity you are paying through the nose to dive. Oh by the way did I mention we don't even pay for gas!"
I love doing this so much that I almost always make a strong effort to pass any car back who passes me, especially anyone who chooses to uses the bike route as a commute route. I am not entirely sure what it is about passing a car... Oh, wait a second, yes I do. Its seeing the often angry on their faces when a cyclist passes them... it pisses so many of them off to be passed and I love it.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't feel this burning desire to pass other cyclist who passes me, I figure good on ya, you deserve it. But with cars I figure they are cheating by using an internal combustion engine, fouling up our city air so clearly, they had it coming and are fair game. As a result I have had a number of interesting experiences...
Example: The Idiot Middle Age Vette Driver
The other day there was the vette (Corvette) that just had to pass me (the midlife crisis type) and do it in a stupid way ON a bike route. Hey buddy, did it say race track? No its a frickin' bike route. Well this lit a fire under my ass and I immediately caught him every chance I got.
This of course only annoyed him to no end. How can I tell? Well, after round-a-bout he would accelerate harder and harder. But I would bear down and catch him at the next one, which would make him drive faster. This pattern kept happening until he was going way too fast to brake for one of the numerous speed humps (bump but elongated) we have on the bike routes here.
I can still hear the horrible sound of metal crunching and tearing as he mangled his exhaust. It was the most beautiful sound I have heard in a long time causing me to start laughing my ass off. As I passed him, I looked in to see his wife give me this horrified, as if almost to say,
"I don't know this man"
I still laugh when I think about it. What is it with car drivers (and people in general) who absolutely cannot let a cyclist pass them?
Comments
You wouldn't happen to be Spike Bike ni another life, would you?
OMG... that is the funniest thing I have read in a while
Archive link: Spike Bike
Nope I ain't Spike Bike, but I can't deny I haven't at some point thought what he wrote. Although my perfered wepon is the samuri sword.
Adventurs in road rage
Fearless Gearless reminded me of the adventures Spike Bike.
Howdy, FG--
I liked this one enough to add a bookmark; I've also been a Spike Bike fans since long before blog entered the lexicon. I look forward to more entertainment here, but I've got to ask, how do you ride a bike with no gears? I like to have at least one myself.
Happy Trails,
Ron Georg
Nice post.
The best thing is when a driver pulls a dickhead move (e.g., passing too close to you, punching the gas as soon as (s)he can pass, turning directly in front of you, blowing the horn, etc.), gets ahead of you briefly, then gets trapped at a light 30 yards up. At this fortuitous time, you get to pull up along side of him/her, rap gently on the window, then proceed to "discuss" things with him/her vis-a-vis their rude display of automobile attitude. The discourse usually begins with the opening phrase "WTF?" and goes downhill (for the driver) from there.
Had one of these situations the other night, but fate didn't let me catch them. Some lady and her daughter in an older Suburban, jesus fish magnet on one side of the rear, OBX sticker on the other, just didn't want to share the road on a backstreet. The symbolic conflation of a saviour, a yuppie playground, and the epitome of our culture of consumption pretty much says it all. Ugh!
Too bad. Would have been a golden opportunity to ensure her daughter got the right lesson in driving manners.
BTW, welcome back, weez!
[...] I use RSS feeds to check most of the blogs that I read on a regular basis, and as time goes on, most news-type sites out there (or sites with a ‘news’ or ‘updates’ section) will create an RSS feed for their site. This is basically a structured file format that you can use a special program (called, very creatively, a ‘news reader’) to format these files in a nice neat format. The advantages are that you can just ‘subscribe’ to a feed, and the program, much like an email program, can tall you when there has been an update, let you read a summary, and then direct you to the site to read the full post if it looks interesting. If you check a lot of sites on a regular basis, it makes it easier than going to all of them every day just to see if there is anything new. For example, Wonder Weasel over at Fearless Gearless hadn’t posted anything on his site since december 1st of last year. I stopped checking his site a couple weeks after that. But, my newsreader still had his RSS feed on it, so when he got his butt in gear and posted something new, it popped up. [...]
Ron, you ask how do I ride with no gears? I have my feet welded right to the wheel... hard core! Smart ass!
Iconoclast, thanks, nice to be back. Yeah tap on the window? I have done that, and sometimes ppl react pretty hostile. Good fun though, gave me something to write about.
As for the Jesus fish magnet... start a collection, if you know what I mean
hahahahaha. fuck, that's hilarious. thanks, i just had a really good laugh out loud. My personal favourite is when i'm taking a lane and going the speed limit, but there's still some jerk-off in a car behind me tailgating me and honking. He'll eventually find an opportunity to speed past at some rediculous speed, and then honk as he goes past. Usually he then finds a red light and has to screech to a halt as i catch up.
Lately i've been really annoyed at the huge trucks on River Road out in Ladner. There are multiple signs that say "trucks: 30km/h max", but when i'm cruisin on my bike at 35km/h, they just can't stand to be behind me. loaded trucks aren't known for their snappy acceleration, so this has led to a couple of close calls where they play chicken with the people in the oncoming lane.
doviende, River Road is a crazy place that people used to use all the time with no regard whatsoever to speed safety. I know a couple cyclists who have had close calls there.
Wonder Weasel, in reply to "What is it with car drivers (and people in general) who absolutely cannot let a cyclist pass them", I think the issue is that many drivers don't feel like they are moving when surrounded by a comforting river of steel; they perceive their speed visually relative to the surrounding traffic. If people pass them, they're moving backwards! I'm sure there's a number of cases where insult is implied to their ride-in phallic extension, too.
Steel: The header file gives the location of three feeds:
RSS 2.0 "http://www.fearlessgearless.com/feed/"
RSS .92 "http://www.fearlessgearless.com/feed/rss/"
Atom 0.3 "http://www.fearlessgearless.com/feed/atom/"
Awesome! Your blog ROCKS! Man... If I was you I would be proud, so you should! Laterz dude....