How do you like them apples?

Just as fat kids like to eat I like to ride. I love cranking until I am about to puke, then go grab a beer and get a heapin’ plate of pasta to chow down on. I also like sex, if only I could ride, fuck, and drink beer all at the same time; I surely would die.

I love riding so much I go through numerous chain rings a season. If you are thinking I should change my chain more often, all I have to say is “fuck you!” Trust me I check for stretch all the time, but some how I eat up chain rings, I have even folded one before doing a standing start off a traffic light. I tried to ride for about 5 blocks before I conceded defeat and replaced it.

This is where the story begins. When I went to replace the ring I found out why it folded, my crank spider had cracked and died. Unfortunately, this was discovered when I pulled the crank and went to the LBS to get a new ring. As I took of the deceased ring off and carefully set aside my ring spacers, I had a mech-head give me a lecture on how I shouldn’t be spacing off my ring. "ah, chain line?" I replied with as much attitude as I could muster. Then I noticed my crank spider was cracked. I could see the joy come to the mech heads face as he gave me a "told you so." Wow, his entire anal existence has now just been justified. Is it illegal to beat a man with a crank?

All of a sudden I had to replace both a chain ring and crank set, hrrmm. Lucky for me I was heading back to visit some friends out West and one of them was working for KOOKA at the time, he scored my a cool pair of black 180mm cranks which I ride to this very day.

This all reminded me once again how cool single speeds are. Despite their simplicity and reliability you still slowly demolish your components. This is not in itself a negative attribute; instead, I like to view this as positive. The inevitable slide into destruction, once again reminds me of the power of raw humanity. Despite the manufactures claims, all fancy machined metal progeny of modern technology still at some point must succumb to the power and endurance of flesh.